On a Friday morning in mid June, Husband received an email letting him know that since it had been a while since his last deployment, his name was being tossed around for one soon. A long one. 365+ days to be exact.
He kept this information to himself through the weekend, as we had company and life was pretty much a series of tornados. Or Nor-Tados as D2 calls them. On Monday afternoon he told me about the notice and that USUALLY they notify you within the next 24 hours. No notice was received with direction either way. On Tuesday a notice was sent out seeking volunteers for a few assignments with a deadline of Thursday and non-volunteers would be told on Friday. Again these dates came and went without a word.
Talk about a mixed bag of emotions. Don't get me wrong here. I am not one of those wives that thinks that marrying a military man will mean we get to live in one place all our lives, next to mom and dad, and we will never be apart. Not kidding, I have met these wives. In the almost 15 years we have been married, we have lived in 7 locations, 2 of which were out of country. I have been happy to follow my man around, setting up house where ever and with whatever circumstances we had. I was 5 months pregnant when I moved to Italy to an Italian base only to leave 2 years later with 2 babies. I have always been happy to follow Husband, because I knew when I married him that he was a military man.
While this potential news of him being gone for over a year was sad, I knew we were not the only family making this sacrifice, that although we have had separations that we measured in months and not years, we survived those. We are a military family and we can do anything for a year!
The biggest impact was that I realized just how much I take Husband for granted. The day to day stuff. The things that seemed so important - suddenly we not important at all. The thing that seemed most important was simply TIME. Our American lifestyle of activity leads us to a lifestyle of captivity. While STUFF seems important, camps-clubs-sports-volunteering-parties, what we fail to prioritize is family. Simple family time.
It was important that the girls have time with Daddy. That Husband knew that I truly loved him with all my heart. In those moments, we started dropping some commitments that were taking us away from each other. We made plans to go places and do fun things as a family. We started putting the four of us first.
I think the biggest change was me. I had this renewed motivation to be certain that Husband knew without a doubt that I was thankful for him and all he does for our family. I wanted to be sure that he looked forward to coming home every day. That he knew that he was a priority. Our conversations seemed to have more meaning to them. Our times of just being in the same room reading became more precious. Our relationship has grown deeper and refreshed all because of a government email reminding us that it could all be uprooted in a moment.
It's been over a month and just yesterday someone approached me and said sine Husband wasn't deploying he could come back to (an activity he prioritized as excess) this Thursday. Person even emailed Husband reminding him. The internal struggle began in me - was I being too selfish with Husband? This activity didn't take THAT much time, and it took place during the week when the girls were getting into bed anyway... and then it happened.
ANOTHER email.
Uncle Sam sent Husband an email letting him know that his name was being tossed around for a 365 day deployment. AGAIN.
Cattle prod to the booty. Zowie!
Yes Husband, your weeknights are filled already. For now the girls need their daddy and I need my man. When the email comes that you will have to be away from us, then we will put on our big girl boots and let you go. We will love you from afar, through tears because we're girls and we cry. We will support you with all our hearts reminding you of the awesomeness you have waiting for you at home. We will do those things because we are a military family and that's what we do!
Until then... Husband is busy. His social calendar is carefully planned with family having first pick. His children are growing aware of how blessed they are to have such a great daddy. I am renewed and madly in love with my man. Taking each day as a gift and being sure that no matter what the day brings, that he and I end it on a very happy note. Making even the simple things special. Doing all I know how, to be certain he knows he is loved and appreciated.
Don't wait to let your spouse know that you love them. Don't take the days for granted. You may not have the government looming with their emails, but life can change without any warning. Does your spouse know that despite all the "grrr" in the day to day, that you love them? Doesn't hurt to check.
I love you Husband!
