Friends...

Something I had to share...


A friend loves you all the time. — Proverbs 17:17 NCV

Every friendship arises out of some kind of invitation. Inviting is active. Inviting says, “I was thinking about you, and I am requesting your presence.” Inviting says, “I have made time for you and me to celebrate.” Inviting makes a hopeful promise of good times.
To the party of friendship, you must bring a gift. You’ve been invited, remember? “Your presence is requested.” It would be far easier to bring a kitchen gadget. C. S. Lewis cautions us that we may act kindly, correctly, justly . . . and yet withhold the giving of ourselves, which is love. To offer a vulnerable nugget of your soul that has been mined from a deep, sometimes dark, place is more valuable than gold to your friend.
— Nicole Johnson

The word friend is often misused.

To say someone is your friend means what?  Does it mean that you would call them to share you good news & bad news?  OR  Does it mean that you simply know that person?

A friend should be trustworthy. Unconditional. Nonjudgemental. Forgiving. Honest. Real.  A good friend can show up at your messy house, move a pile of laundry on your couch and share a glass of tea, just because.  The great friend will help you fold that pile of laundry!

Good friends will love your children, if for no other reason just because you do.  If your child requires something extra - they will take a moment to understand your child's special needs, making you & your child feel safe and loved.

Disclaimers are not required with friends.  If you tell them you are ready to sell your children to the Gypsies, they will know you are not serious and that loosing your children would be like loosing the ability to breathe.

A good friend listens to you, even when you ramble on, and they love you anyway.  They cry when you hurt, they laugh when you laugh at yourself, and they rejoice with you about even the little things.

They find the good in you even when you can't.  You leave them feeling better than when you arrived.  Not wondering if you are being judged.

Friendships cross all levels of social class, education, race, and interests.

I am learning that there are many types and levels of friendship.  My neighbor said to me Thursday - "friendships should be easy".  She was talking about how real friendships are void of judgement, expectations, and stress.  If you leave a conversation with a friend feeling bad about yourself... I think this is not a great friend.

As I talk with many 'friends' throughout my day, I kept thinking... friendships are supposed to be easy... is this easy?

Now I think I will be careful with my words.  Instead of saying 'my friend', I may say 'I know this gal who...'  Also, it's okay not to be friends with everyone.  Everyone should be friends with me though.  HA!

When I think about why people ask for my friendship... Instead of thinking I have nothing to offer them - I will remember my real friends. The ones who build me up, who love me just because.  The friends who don't want anything but "a vulnerable nugget of your soul that has been mined from a deep, sometimes dark, place." 

Tell me, what makes your real friends, your friend?

Worth being quiet for...

I have so much going on and I know that writing would be therapeutic, but if I were to write at this time, you may call social services, the men with the straight jacket, or declare me crazy.  SO for this time, while I collect my thoughts and gain perspepctive... I am simply going to post some pictures I have been taking and working with this past week.  I hope you enjoy them, and take a moment to enjoy.

This was taken in haste.  Bringing the camera from the cool house out into the humid air, was not a wise move.  The lens fogged up and took what seemed like and eternity to clear.

It was worth the wait because brighter Humming birds cam by ready to be photographed.

ahh, much better

Word of the day

Brilliant.

shining brightly; sparkling; glittering; 

distinguished; illustrious; 

having or showing great intelligence, talent, quality;

splendid or magnificent

I just got off the phone with a friend who is working on a paper.  She is an amazing woman, as most of my friends are, and a person that I admire.  I told her to "be brilliant".  I thought to myself, brilliant... hmm.  There is a great word.

Putting sarcastic tones aside, just say that word aloud. Brilliant. You have to move your mouth. Your tongue must move, your lips must touch, and you should articulate and not mumble.  Do all these things and something happens.  Go ahead... try it a few times.  Aloud.  Brilliant.  Brilliant.  Now say "Be Brilliant!"  Did you notice anything?

Compare to the word 'good'.

Say "I am good".  Then say "I am brilliant".  If you were honest with yourself I think you would see that the word Brilliant is a fabulous word!  (fabulous being one of my personal favorite words).

The word Brilliant can be a fun word to say.  You can roll your r's.  You can shake your head side to side.  You can exclaim.  You could even do all three things at once and I bet you will have a smile on your face.

Go ahead - try it.

Just have some fun with the word today.  Use it whenever possible.  "that lemonade was brilliant", ""your outfit is brilliant", "my friend Jen is brilliant".  Okay, I know I said no sarcasm.

Let me know what you think - how did you use the word today?

I wish for you all to have a BRILLIANT day!!

Isn't it beautiful?

This is a street in Bernkastel Germany.  I fell in love with the cobblestone and the tall crooked buildings that lined the way.  It was a foggy day. No matter, it was still filled with hustle and bustle of the local shops.  I had to be patient to get this shot.  One without cars or people. Yes, cars. Of course only one car at a time could fit.  Never mind the car/people combination at times.  See the railing on the left?

I find I get lost in this picture.  Not sure why.  Maybe the way the road climbs into the foggy unknown.  Maybe the image of horse and carriages filling this road long before cars and delivery vans.  Maybe it's thinking about how these buildings were constructed hundreds and hundreds of years ago.  The amount of history that has taken place on these very roads.  Whatever the reason, this picture has been a calming image to me this week.

The journey between the past and the present is sometimes a long journey.  Who we are today is far different than the person we were 10, 20, 30 years ago.  Some of us change for the good.  Some of for the not so good.  Either way, our choices and experiences form us into the person we have become in the present.  Sometimes we get there without any big life changing event - it's just who we become.  Some of us take chances and make choices  that give us experiences that we would never have had if we didn't take that chance. Others may have dramatic things happen, both positive or negative, that cause them to make certain choices about their lives.  We realize that we change.  We realize that who we were in high school is not the person we are now.  So, why is it then... we forget that others change too?

Isn't it unfair to be proud of the person you have become and not give anyone else the option of also becoming a better person?  Sure it is.  Especially if that person is someone who has caused you to make conscious decisions about how you live your life.

This week I was visited by my past.  I had not spent any significant time with this person in about 24 years.  There has been the occasional phone call here and there.  A visit that would last for 1-3 hours every 3-5 years.  But to spend real quality time... that is a lot to ask.

I don't do well with surprises.  I like to know the who, what, when, where, why, and how as much as I can.  Yes I know I have control issues.  I am a planner.  The more notice I have, the better.  So to get a phone call Sunday afternoon that I am getting company Wednesday from this person, was not a very soothing experience for me.

Tuesday I spent in a whirlwind of anxiety.  Uncertain of what would be expected of me.  What I was supposed to do.  How I was supposed to act.  Was I going to cook meals, and if so what?  Would they be acceptable?  Is my house clean enough?  Are my children good enough. Am I good enough? Will he be disappointed in me?  Then the biggest question of all... Why oh why do I care so much?  Why was this eating me alive inside?  Why did I still have this fear?  I knew that a trauma in his life had given him a new perspective on life - so why would I expect him to be the same demeaning man he was 25 years ago?

I could not have made it though the first few hours without the love and encouragement of my husband and friends.  The visit was a success.  It was great to get to know this man who I had once feared.  Then had learned to love and have compassion for.  Things were not all sunshine and roses.  There were plenty of awkward moments.  Stories from memory lane, that sometimes stopped dead in their telling because they didn't always have happy endings.  Overall, it was a good visit.  It was emotionally draining, but a good visit.  How selfish of me to not think that he too could change.  Shame on me for doubting myself and second guessing my entire life.

People do change.

Sometimes we have to take a chance.  Grab on tight to the railing, and make the journey up the narrow path and into the foggy future.  Yes, I believe that is it.  I think that it why this picture has stuck with me all week.  I was holding on to that rail and taking one step at a time hopeful that no cars would come zooming by, taking me back from where I once was.