Is old school Bad school?

I love technology.
I support and advocate for technology in the schools.  My children have their own computer and we encourage them to do more than just play games and shop.  We teach them how to use different systems and be creative.

Okay - so that's my disclaimer.

My concern is this... Are we going to far?

A few nights ago my 10yr old was complaining that her sister was taking too long on the computer and I wouldn't let her use mine.  She said she could not complete her homework because she NEEDED the computer.  I asked what she had to do on the computer and her answer made me laugh.

"Mom, I have to figure out the definitions for these words!"  I suggested she use a dictionary and she looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"You are not serious!"
"yes, yes I am. We have two dictionaries in the office, go get one and look the words up."

"MOM - that is crazy! I can just type the words on the computer and it will tell me the definition. It will take me forever to look up ALL these words!"  (she had 7 words to define)

This conversation went on and on then..

"MOM, (said with the desperation of speaking to a crazy person) in the future there won't even BE dictionaries! I'll just talk to the computer and it will tell me the definition."

At this point I am laughing and talking with a friend who in unison we say "when we were 10 the future held flying cars and you wouldn't have to cook dinner, you would swallow a pill that had all you needed"

I of course followed with "but here I am driving on 4 wheels and cooking your dinner.  The future isn't as close as you would like - look up the words and while you're looking you may discover a new word."

Shaking her head and waving her hands lugging the giant, dusty, dictionary she says"I don't know why you are making me do this - did you go to school with this Webster guy or something?"  Buy this point the conversation had gone so far, I couldn't even take her seriously.

Remember when.... You were told how to treat a book.  Don't crack the spine! Don't fold the pages!  Be careful where you keep your books.  Don't eat while you read, you'll mess the pages.  The thrill of getting a new book.  The smell.  The crackle of opening the cover. The adventure that awaited you on the pages.  The respect.  If you had a question - you went to a book.  Remember Encyclopedias?

Yes, computers have made life easier - especially if you have a Mac. (sorry, selfish plug) Very few own encyclopedias.  We don't.  The internet is an instant resource at your fingertips.  However, our children are still tested to know what a Dictionary, Thesaurus, and an Encyclopedia are.  The test that they take on... a computer.

This year our school will be taking the Standards of Learning tests on the computer.  Computers that fail to work half the time. (PC's of course).  In order to practice these test taking skills, they take their subject tests on the computers.  It's nice that the teachers get instant results.  They no longer have to lug home stacks of papers to grade.

What concerns me is how do our children learn from their mistakes?  Remember taking a test, and when you got your test back, you had to look through to see which items you answered incorrectly?  What was the purpose in that? To learn from your mistakes.  Now my girls bring home a form that says D2 scored a "B" on the Economics test.  When D2 is asked "What kind of questions did you miss?"  She has no idea.

Your child bombs a math test with greater than & less than.  Since the teacher sees the raw score - they don't see that Susie got the symbols confused.  That Johnny transposed the numbers.  All Johnny and Susie know is that they bombed the test.  They don't know why.

Last night I reviewed D1's Math homework.  She made silly mistakes.  Here is a child who is tested as brilliant, years above grade level, gifted, and is bored in school.  She blows through her work b/c "it's easy".  Funny thing is, in her boredom, she makes careless mistakes.  9-3=2... um no.  She doesn't take the time to check her work.  When she gets her paper back and has a 'B', she is okay with that because a 'B' isn't bad.  Daddy and I are unreasonable because we give her that "seriously? you got a B on this" look.  We don't expect straight A's.  However, when she gets that 'B' because she forgot to carry the one, or answer the question all together... yeah, Momma has a problem with that.

This morning I explained to D1, I don't want her to ever just settle.  So she got a B when she could have easily pulled off an A.  I told her that all those B's would amount to a solid B on her report card and she said "a B isn't bad mom".  Sorry kiddo, it is when you earned that B because your being lazy.  Maybe I was extreme, but I went on to say how settling for a grade would lead to a life of settling.  So you settle for a lower grade then you are capable of.. do you then settle for friends, settle for a husband, settle for a job, settle for a life style.  When you have amazing potential... do you settle for less?

Learning from mistakes.  Doing the work.  Going the extra distance.  Asking questions.  Taking time to search for answers.  Not just settling.  Are these all things of the past.  Or I am just part of a generation now that looks at young children and complains about how easy they have it compared to when we were young?  I know we didn't have it as bad as our elders... but to completely toss aside life looking for the easy path and working so hard to resist other avenues... seems foolish.

I love technology.  But when it replaces fundamentals?  I love my dishwasher, but when it's broken or I live in a country without one, I still know how to wash the dishes.

I love that my children know how to use the computer to learn what they need to know, but I don't think it is absurd to expect them to know how to open a book and learn the knowledge they seek.

(stepping off soapbox)

Spring Fever

Happy Valentines Day

““A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”” - John 13:34-35

Valentines day means many different things to many different people.  Some people LIVE for this day.  Completely filled with the need and the desire for the flowers, balloons, cards, fancy dinner, and everything else that can be marketed.   I have some single friends that dress in black and protest this day to the fullest.  Who says that Valentines day is only for couples?  Who says that Valentines day is only for lovers?  


This morning I came across the verse shown above and thought - Valentines Day is about love.  We are commanded to love each other.  Yes, some people are easier to love then others, but still we are told to love.  Now there is a little word with a HEAVY meaning.  L-O-V-E.  It's one of those words that people say lightly.  It gets abused.  People toss it around and apply it to so many things, that it begins to loose it's intensity.  I love my husband. *smile* I love caramel brule' latte.  Is that the same kind of love?  Maybe sometimes...kidding.  Now don't think I am going to go all deep with this concept.  I've had too much caffeine and a huge pile of laundry waiting for me.  


Of course the word 'love' can have many meanings - but to sum it all up I prefer the word as a verb:  to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for.


I love sunshine.  I love the sound of my children laughing.  I love the smell of my man after his shower.  I love the taste of my caramel brule' late right now.


Today I am thinking about my friends.  I have posted before about the value of friendship.  True friendship.  The word friend is another one of those words that gets tossed about.  Last week a friend of mine (we'll call her Sally) was, in my opinion, abused by one of her 'friends'.  Now I would argue that this woman is clearly not a friend to Sally.  If we follow the rule that 'friendship should be easy', then this friend gets a FAIL.  Sally left her friend feeling hurt, frustrated, angry, disrespected, confused, and betrayed.  Not cool.  I was hurt for my friend.  When she called me I could hear the hurt in her voice - so I did what I thought a friend should do.  I went to her house and listened.  I helped her with a bottle of wine.  I tossed aside my evening, my plans, to be a friend.  I treasure my friendship with her.  Hopefully she left that evening feeling loved and cared for.


In a time where we are all in such a hurry.  A time that is filled with competition,  deadlines, and what we "should" be doing", are we loosing sight of what is important?  Friendship. Love. Loving friends, and loving your friends.  


Today is about LOVE.  Be sure to tell your friends you love them.  I'm going to do that now...

9 is Cool

It finally happened.  D2 is officially 9 years old.  She is 9 years full of amazement!

13 February 2002 at 11:20 am, D2 zoomed her way into the world and into our hearts.  My pregnancy with her was completely unexpected.  After all, D1 was about 6 months old.  It was Husbands first fathers day when I said to him... "honey, we're pregnant...again".  Wow.  Nothing says happy fathers day like that!  From conception D2 was on the go.  I never wondered if she was okay in the womb.  She was always kicking, stretching, and I am pretty sure she was getting her groove on dancing away.  Is it any wonder she came early?  I didn't need one reminder that no two children were the same because nothing was the same between she and her big sister.  D1 is calm and relaxed... D2 is on fire and ready to take on ... everything!

Years of keeping us guessing.  So silly, full of life, and interesting perspectives.  She keeps us on our toes.  We used to joke when she was little that she was filled with many CEO qualities.  Her need for order, her amazing ability to remember things, her individual thinking, her tenacity, and her genuineness are all things that make her so lovable.

Although my heart is sometimes heavy where she is concerned, she is one of the people in my life that can make me smile like no other.  Her belly laughs are infectious.  And she can snuggle like none other.  

D2 is so smart, so smart that we sometimes forget that she is still a little girl.  With the discovery of Aspergers and learning how it applies to D2's daily functioning, we try to remember to have fun.  It's so easy to become burdened with trying to have all the answers and figure out the right things to do and say.  The hard thing - the hard thing is to remember to just let go and have fun.  Where ever she is, to drop everything and meet her where she is.  Every moment is a new moment.  One moment may be full of tears, the next will be filled with hugs and kisses.  We constantly have to remember to keep hitting our "refresh" button on our screen of emotions.  Husband is convinced that the reason God makes children sleep so much is so we can look at them in a sweet innocent state and fall in love with them all over again.  

D2 in a word is delightful.  To list her every quality would cause the music playing on this blog to loop over and over.  So just know that if you were to meet D2, you would never forget her.  And for those who have taken the time to get to know her - she will forever be in your heart.  In an place all her own, in a way different from any one else.  

D2, you are my delight and I love you with my every breath.

ice ice baby..

Yet another 2 day school week comes to an end.  We had a crazy storm blow through here on Wednesday and left everything icy and a mess.  The schools closed down for the remainder of the week.  What to do?  Oh, take pictures.
Here are just a few I have ready to post - the rest are on the way...

Groundhog Day

Remember this movie?
Bill Murray is a weather man who has to cover the sacred event for the fourth year in a row.  He's pretty bitter about the assignment and makes no effort in hiding his discontent.  The next day he wakes up only to discover he has to relive that day over again.  Then the next day, and the next day....

I was reminded of this movie this morning as the alarm went off at 5:15.  Husband hit the snooze button until 5:34 when we roll out of bed.  He goes to get ready for work and I head downstairs to make coffee, pack lunches, and get ready for the day.  I send off Husband, and climb upstairs listening to my own theme music play in my head.  It's sounds like the music to JAWS.  I get myself ready for the day, then watch the second hand on the clock move closer and closer to 6:45. duh dun... duh dun... I take a deep breath and say yet another prayer that today will be a different day.

First I wake D1, she doesn't want to get out of her warm bed.  Who could blame her?  She does though, making small talk about the weather and what she has going on.  Then I put on my best face and go into D2's room.  I turn on a lamp that gradually gets brighter.  I've learned NOT to turn on any sudden sources of light.  I speak softly and even try to be a little playful.  No matter.  Even though there are some soft giggles and a smile, they quickly fade.  Giggles turn into shouts and grunts.  Smiles turn into angry eyes.  Arms used to hug and hold hands quickly turn and begin to hit and throw anything within reach.

Sometimes I muddle through these days.  After all not EVERY day is like this.  Last week went pretty well.  OH, they only had school 2 days last week.  hmm.  So, maybe I should say not all days are bad.  Some are just more horrific than others?

So far this week we are 2 for 2.

Yesterday I was thinking about the morning.  How even though it seemed as though we were set for success, (clothes out, plenty of sleep..) the morning crumbled after the words "Good morning..".  It's easy to fool ourselves and think "oh, today was bad b/c it was ____ (fill in with your choice.. Monday, not good sleeping, not feeling well, lights were too bright, out of muffins, the wind was blowing to the west...) BUT the reality is... THIS IS MY LIFE.  This behavior is not going away.  Yes we are learning together from the 'experts' about how to handle things, however, the reality is.. this is my life.  My numbness level has to go up yet another notch.  I know it will get better.  Not like a cold gets better.  This isn't something that will simply pass.  This is a process.  A very long, sad, painful, lonely, emotionally draining process.

Coming to terms that my child doesn't just have a behavior problem, but rather has a mental disability... that's a tough one.  Thank God she has ADHD along with the Autism.  The medication that she takes just before she goes to school, helps her behave and be loved by her teachers.  I am jealous of them.  They get the best of her and don't even know it.  But for how long?  How long till this pill isn't doing it's job and we have to move on?

One skill at a time.  One step at a time.  One day at a time.  One moment at a time.  One drink at a time.  Okay, just kidding about that last line.  Kinda.

I wouldn't for one moment change D2.  I wouldn't wish my life to be without her.  I just pray for the strength and direction to be a good parent to her without loosing my mind in the meantime.

Wonderful Weekend

This weekend has been delightful.  Nice and relaxing.  D1 had a sleepover Friday night and D2 was thrilled to have us all to herself.  I think it was a bit overwhelming for her though, she was so torn with all the wonderful things she wanted to do, but our time was limited and the clock didn't slow down at all.

Saturday was nice.  We each enjoyed doing things together and separately.  For a bit D1 was designing clothes on the computer, D2 was watching a movie, husband was working on school work, and I was milling about with this and that, interrupting husband with my thoughts on the world.  Which alway intrigue him. ;-)

That afternoon we sat down to a great game of Clue.  I love this game.  My family likes it, but they don't like how competitive I am.  I can't help it, I just love these type of logic puzzle games.  D2 was really getting into the game and was Sooooo close to making her accusation when the die was 1 number shy of letting her into a room.  D1 had complained how much she didn't like the game, how bored she was, how it was sooooo hard.  She then goes into a room, and makes an accusation and was right.  Game over.  The look on D2's face was crushing.  She was working so hard to put her clues together and then her sister swept the rug from under her.  Oh well.

We played 2 games of clue and then each took some time to read, play legos, do art, or whatever we wanted.  My friend Tammy showed me this great puzzle called 100 alligators and a purse.  There are all different ones, but the one I have is 100 Mice and a Piece of Cheese.  It's a pretty fun Puzzle and has been taking up space on our dining room table since Christmas.  By the end of the day, all four of us were rather intense working on this puzzletill after 9pm.  It was the highlight of the day.  NO technology required.  Well, there was the iPod playing, but other than that.... After the girls were in bed, Husband and I continued until it was finished.  I loved that time with him.

Today we continue on.  Some are working on puzzles, reading, and creating.  The plan is to continue to relax today.  Gearing up for a very busy week ahead.  The weather outside is freezing and the house is working hard to keep us warm.  I ventured to Wal-Mart and purchased some electric blankets on clearance and so we are all snuggled and relaxing.

I just heard the TV come on and it kind of makes me sad.  Oh well.  It was bound to happen.  Besides football starts soon, and we'll all be plopped in front to the TV then anyway.  Except for D1, she's not a fan.

I loved our "unplugged" weekend.  Playing games, reading, creating, and best of all communicating.  No stress of the Monday thru Friday things that eat away at our souls.

How was your weekend?