can you see it?
can you see the rays shining down?
i find a sense of peace in a sky like this.
Wish it was shining tonight. Sometimes I feel so lost as a mom. No matter how much you give and give, it's just never enough.
I had coffee the other day and was talking with a neighbor about parenting a child with ADHD. See it all seems like no big deal. That ADHD isn't really anything - just a behavior thing that needs more discipline. But it isn't. Not at all.
The reality of ADHD is cheapened by those parents who have spirited children and choose not to discipline and immediately go to the dr to get drugs to sedate their child into submission. Then there is the generation that thinks ADHD is an excuse parents use to explain away their child's misbehavior. I know these views because I once shared them. Until I had a student who was ADHD. Then when I realized my own daughter is ADHD. It's frustrating and exhausting. I am also learning that ADHD in girls is much different than ADHD in boys.
My daughter is ADHD. At first I thought it was on the low end of the spectrum - but lately - we are climbing that ladder. It's a lonely one. It's a tough one to figure out, mainly because you are so caught up in trying to figure out and diffuse the current situation - that when you start to get a hold - you are in a new situation.
I love the new TV drama "Parenthood". There is a family that has a son who has Asperger Syndrome. I realize that ADHD is not the same - but there are some similarities. More so than the son - the parents in this show really stick out to me. How they are dealing with the outside world. Their family, friends, and schools. I find myself connecting with these fictitious people - as though they were examples.
My daughter is impulsive. She is also highly intelligent. At moments she is out of control - at the moment we have her attention and regain control = she is instantly broken. She is swimming in a sea of regret and confusion and I am left feeling helpless and cold. She yearns for affection and acceptance. Who doesn't. But for her to seek that so desperately at the age of 8...
So in this weeks thoughts of "the little things.." I am reminded of my lil peanut. Her life is filled with seemingly little moments - that make dramatic impacts throughout her day. A smile from a teacher sends her soaring. Smelling her daddy's cologne after he has gone makes her feel safe. An adult who she loves not giving her the benefit of showing what she is capable of - crushes her. Although she is tough stuff - she is also tender hearted.
Isn't that what the little things are made of?
This is so heartbreakingly written. Your daughters are so beautiful in their own unique ways, and when you look back years and years from now, you will wonder why you struggled so much, or be glad that you struggled. Because you are her mother, she will turn out okay. Unique and creative and lovely, and just the way God intended her to be.
ReplyDeleteAnd that picture is SO awesome!!