The other half of my heart...

Daughter 1 (D1)

Those eyes... those gorgeous eyes.

Every night before Husband and I go to bed, we check in on the girls to be sure they are covered and secure.  Last night I went to check on D1 and she had the most precious look on her face.  I instantly flashed back about 8 years and saw her lying in her crib.  Something about the look on her face - so sweet, serene, so innocent.  Tears instantly filled my eyes.  To think of all she has experienced in her 9 short years of life.  She has lived in 3 countries and has moved 4 times.  She has grown so much and is becoming a wonderful young lady.  

D1 is extremely intelligent.  Things come very easy to her and the way she processes information and relates that information to her day to day life is profound.  She is creative.  The stories she writes are wonderful and amazingly thorough.  She is happy to be by herself with a good book or a blank piece of paper.  

When I taught preschool - I never wanted my students to feel like they had to follow a certain rule to color.  I wanted them to be free to color a house orange, a tree blue, or a person magenta.  I became a huge advocate of blank paper and crayons.  

Before D1 was 2 years old, she held a crayon properly and would draw with purpose.  It was amazing to watch.  The scribble phase didn't last very long.  She went straight to circles and faces.  We had plenty of coloring books, but D1 would grab a blank sheet of paper and let her imagination come alive.  I love that!!  

Two years ago we went to Spain and stayed in a hotel right next to the Mediterranean Sea.  We could only pack a back pack for our trip and the first thing that D1 packed - a blank notebook, and color pencils.  Her plan was to sit on the beach and write.  And she did.  

She was free to relax and do what she loves most.  Write.  

It hasn't always been easy for her.  In 2008, she started having major anxiety.  She would flip out in crowds, new situations, and sometimes basic transitions would be more than she could handle.  We sought help - but things didn't seem to improve that much.  When we moved, I met with the teacher and told her a little about D1 and her struggle with anxiety.  

Now 10 months later, D1 is a different child.  She orders her own food at restaurants, she steps out of her comfort zone to make friends, she sticks up for herself and for what is right.  

Most recently, the school was advertising for applications for the FLL.  The First Lego League.  A group of children that, on their own, construct a robot from Legos and use computer software to program the robot to accomplish certain tasks.  This is a team of 5 children from 4th grade and 5 from the 5th grade.  D1 talked about wanting to apply, but thought since there were so many kids applying she wouldn't stand a chance.  I left it up to her to decide.  A few days later, she brought home the application packet.  She had questions to answer, there were questions I had to answer, and she needed a teacher recommendation.  She asked me what I thought she should do.  My only advise to her was that she wouldn't know unless she tried.  That things would be no different if she didn't get selected.  However - if she didn't apply, would she wonder about the "what ifs"?  I filled out my portion and didn't say another word to her about it.  She met the deadline, and a week later we were waiting for the results.  The letter came home, and D1 was selected to be a part of next years FLL.  I was so proud of my lil girl.  A year ago, I don't know that she would have put herself out there like that.  She has come so far and overcome so many obstacles.  She has a much better perspective on life, and what she is capable of.  

Unlike her sister, D1 wont just come out and tell you what she is thinking, you have to work for it.  She process things over and over and tries to figure it all out for herself.  It's a balancing act I do between them.  I hear so much about what D2 is thinking - that I have to shift gears and probe into the mind of D1.  

When I looked at her sleeping so peacefully last night, I was taken back through many memories.  Taken back by how quickly time is passing by.  Reminded of the breath taking moments that I have been honored to share with her.  She is such a little lady, with a heart pure as gold.  I admire her for the beautiful girl she is today and for the amazing woman she will become.