I'm the filler friend

People amaze me.  I enjoy people watching. and listening.  Moving around 7 times in the last 13 years has exposed me to many different types of people.

I have often found security in other military wives.  Civilian life is just different than military life, we deal with many different things on very different levels.  But like a big fraternity - military families all over have a common thread.  Especially the wives.  We have all been there, done that - if not we know someone who has.  Hubby comes home and says he has to go out of town for 2 weeks, TOMORROW, we growl and smile and move on.  Even when he says honey - I am deploying tomorrow and I can't say where or for how long - we growl, smile and move on.

My civilian friend here - her husband leaves for 30 hours and the world is coming to a screeching halt.   "OMG, trash day is friday - he puts out the trash - wonder if he will just do it before he leaves"  REALLY?!?!  The thing is on wheels - you can do it!!! AND you only have one child - so deal already.

The other thing that wears me down on my 5 mile jaunt around the neighborhood (brisk walk that we accomplish in 1 hour and 4 minutes) is the exclusive chatting.
Military wives will invite a new person out to do something and any conversation that takes place - they will bring you up to speed on the conversation - who or what they are talking about - how they know them and what the situation is.  By the time your visit is over - you know everything about anything and you feel like you have known them for years.  That is how we work - we are not around long enough to build a relationship - we have to throw it all out there, see who we connect with and then move on.  With out those relationships with other wives - when husband comes home and says he's leaving for X amount of days - we can not manage that smile.

So my civilian friends have a friend that just moved away.  Now I get that they have all grown up together - went to school together, lived on the same street, and had their children with in a few weeks of each other.  They grew up, married and now live in the same development ON THE SAME BLOCK!!! All I hear about for an hour is their poor friend who has to find another doctor, make new friends, buy new curtains... yeah. So - they plan trips together.  I don't mean hey- lets meet up in a few months - they meet up at least once a month.  It's cool at first - when I describe it this way - but now it's getting a little freaky.  Now the ladies are getting together for concerts, games... so weekly.  She lives in another state - about 5-6 hours away.  This week I am hearing all about their trip to a concert they have planned.

I just think it is rude.  Why invite me to be a part of your walking group & your lil desperate housewives game night - and spend the whole time talking to each other about your friend and all the things you are doing with each other that do not in any way include me.  It's just awkward and rude.  I think I am pulling out.  I am their filler.  They needed another person for game night - and here I am.  It could have only been worse if I had bought that friends house.  Whew - glad we didn't do that!

I love my military friends - and the EXCEPTIONAL civilian friends that I have!!!