When can we say enough?

How far do we go?

When some one is sick - to what extent do we go to help that person.  How much do we sacrifice?
This seems like a black and white issue.  Until you are in the position to make those choices.

My children.  I would do ANYTHING for them.  No question.  I love them without boundaries.  When they get older and make poor choices - how far will I be willing to go for them?  How much will I give? 

I don't think anyone can really answer that question.  It may seem easy to say you would do anything for your parents or your children, but it isn't.  Where you are in your life may effect your decision or even your ability to care for them.

How much of your own life do you sacrifice?  How much of yourself and your immediate family do you allow to be chipped away by another family member?

Right now in my life - I have 2 daughters. Ages 8&9.  They need their parents.  My Husband is an amazing man who I don't deserve.  At this moment, THEY are my priority.  They are my limit.  I care about my family members.  I care for my friends and the things that they are facing.  My care has to have limits though.  I know I can not please everyone, and I can not fix everything.  Does that make me a monster?  Cold?  Unloving?  Or does that make me smart? Wise? Protective of my immediate family?

How much of ourselves do we allow to be abused?  When do we stop submitting ourselves to the hurt?  As Christians - we are supposed to love.  Love the person, hate the behavior.  Okay.  How do you continue to do that.  It's easy to say - I love you but I hate that you are cheating on your wife, doing drugs, cursing like a sailor, taking advantage of people.  But when the behavior is so habitual that the person refuses to recognize they are even doing it... how far do we go?

The moment arrives when the person is forced to get the help they need.  It provides you with a sense of relief.  A feeling that they are being taken care of and will stop draining the lives of those that are near them.  A feeling that this may be a turning point - and you no longer have to worry about their safety, about watching what you say around them.  Is that selfish?

What a silly little thing to say.  "Carol is so selfish, she always causes drama, it's always about her....I am so glad that she is being taken care of so she can stop sucking the life out of everyone else and we can live our lives."  Does feeling that way make us selfish too?  Or does it mean we are trying to lead a healthy life and protect ourselves and those we love from more hurt?  Saying that about a parent, sister, brother... does that make us a monster?  What kind of person feels that way about their family member?

See my dilemma?

Then - just when you think you have come to resolve that matter - just when you start feeling like the right choices have ben made.... They decide - this unstable person decides they don't really need the help - real help.  So they go back to their normal life and expect everyone to pickup the pieces and cater to them again.  All of that is okay because everyone will and everyone does.  Everyone except me.  That is why I am the bad egg of the family.

So where is that line?  I hate gray.  I am stuck in a gray zone.  When do you stop letting people take advantage of you, stop hurting you and your children?  As adults we have the choice to be around people who build us up and those that tear us down.  Right?  So when the ones who are tearing you to your core are your family... what do you do?

When can we simply say... enough.